Saturday 10 June 2017 – 11:39 ET
Dear Rahm Emanuel,
I am a Chicago Native, as you may
tell by my birth certificates attached.
I want to live a better life in
my native city and country.
In my opinion, the people in
Indiana are crazy, and they attempted to stop me from living any life at all.
Please help me move back into my
birth city as soon as possible.
Here is some background on my
credentials:
1.)
I don’t have good credit or any legitimate credit
at all.
2.)
I have a college education in Computer Graphics
from Purdue University, but I don’t have a degree.
3.)
I owe the government around $7,000.00 in loans,
otherwise I would continue my education.
4.)
I am physically very healthy.
5.)
I am 29 years old and 6 ft. 1 inch tall, and I
am considered “mixed” although I deem myself as white. I DON’T HAVE PARENTS.
6.)
I never bought a house or a car.
7.)
I receive over $800.00 as part of Social
Security that was the consequence of a gun-shot wound on Halloween 2011.
8.)
My birthday is October 29th, and it
is a favorite time of the year for me.
9.)
I don’t owe Chicago any money whatsoever
legally.
10.) I don’t have a criminal background, I am
honest, and I am a law abiding citizen. I act appropriately.
Alright!
I will look for apartments. If
you could persuade any landlord to house me sooner than later that would be
great! My credit rating has been tampered with. It is really not my fault. Tell
a landlord to be lenient on my first month’s rent and deposit or move in
credentials. It is an arm and a leg to get from Lafayette to Chicago when a
gang of idiots is trying to kill me.
Okay!
Make no mistake, if I complain
one more time to you about being sodomized inside of Chicago city limits, you should
execute reasonable force. No one should be stopped in that manner from living a
sane life within their own home.
Help me get a studio please. That
would be great! I have included photos of myself. I look more handsome in
person. By the way, these jackasses don’t get that I’m not homosexual.
Sincerely,
John Edward Randall
814 N 14th Street 113
Lafayette, IN 47904
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