Saturday 10 June 2017 – 11:39 ET
Dear Rahm Emanuel,
I am a Chicago Native, as you may tell by my birth certificates attached.
I want to live a better life in my native city and country.
In my opinion, the people in Indiana are crazy, and they attempted to stop me from living any life at all.
Please help me move back into my birth city as soon as possible.
Here is some background on my credentials:
1.) I don’t have good credit or any legitimate credit at all.
2.) I have a college education in Computer Graphics from Purdue University, but I don’t have a degree.
3.) I owe the government around $7,000.00 in loans, otherwise I would continue my education.
4.) I am physically very healthy.
5.) I am 29 years old and 6 ft. 1 inch tall, and I am considered “mixed” although I deem myself as white. I DON’T HAVE PARENTS.
6.) I never bought a house or a car.
7.) I receive over $800.00 as part of Social Security that was the consequence of a gun-shot wound on Halloween 2011.
8.) My birthday is October 29th, and it is a favorite time of the year for me.
9.) I don’t owe Chicago any money whatsoever legally.
10.) I don’t have a criminal background, I am honest, and I am a law abiding citizen. I act appropriately.
I will look for apartments. If you could persuade any landlord to house me sooner than later that would be great! My credit rating has been tampered with. It is really not my fault. Tell a landlord to be lenient on my first month’s rent and deposit or move in credentials. It is an arm and a leg to get from Lafayette to Chicago when a gang of idiots is trying to kill me.
Make no mistake, if I complain one more time to you about being sodomized inside of Chicago city limits, you should execute reasonable force. No one should be stopped in that manner from living a sane life within their own home.
Help me get a studio please. That would be great! I have included photos of myself. I look more handsome in person. By the way, these jackasses don’t get that I’m not homosexual.
John Edward Randall
814 N 14th Street 113
Lafayette, IN 47904